Posted by: rudyruddell | April 22, 2010

I am using this blog to write The Holy Bible 2.0

PREFACE

The Holy Bible is thousands of years old and I thought it was about time it was updated, since many things have happened since it was first written. Science and technology has changed the way we think about the big questions of life.

How did we get here? Through science, we now understand a great deal about how we got here, although we happily do not understand everything. Scientists joyfully continue use the reality-linked scientific process to answer more questions every day.

What is our purpose? Science cannot yet tell us what our purpose is. Do we even have a purpose? The Holy Bible 2.0 is a revision to the stories of the bible that makes believing in God of The Holy Bible 1.0 more palatable He was just not the kind of father that I would emulate. He was an intolerant, jealous (self-proclaimed Exodus 20:5), egotistical god who encouraged his people to murder (I Kings 20) , rape (Numbers 31), and have slaves (Exodus 21).

Since I would not like to have a father like this, I thought many other people would also like to worship a god who is actually likeable – someone you would like to have as a god. So, I wrote this revision to the Holy Bible.

I tried to use Old English because the King James Version of the Bible is in the public domain and therefore I can plagiarize it all I want.

I tried to write it in the voice of the original authors of the Bible therefore they knew nothing about science. Thus, I do not go into detail about the Big Bang theory or evolution in the creation story. However, I did try to eliminate those parts that are inconsistent with what we know today, such as the 7-day creation, dinosaurs in a boat, the virgin birth, and resurrections that just make the bible difficult to believe.

Wherever possible, I will leave the original KJV wording intact. I will only change wording to eliminate conflicts with the real world, e.g. creating the earth before the stars. The more the writing resembles the KJV, the less chance the revised bible companies will sue me.

Acknowledgements

I would like to thank the authors Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens, Darryl Ray, Sam Harris and Oden Zeus McGaffer whose books gave me the knowledge and inspiration to write this book. Also I would like to thank my atheist friends on Facebook (FB) who also encouraged me. My idea for this book sprang from a FB post by Malevolent Design about a leech that feeds at our orifices.

Jason Wichlacz gave me the idea to include other authors since many authors wrote The Bible.

Barbara Soblo suggested I copy this FB post. I think it encapsulates why I am spending all this time on The Bible even though I became an atheist in 1975.

“I was having difficulty finding a teaching job this summer because our school isn’t having summer school this year. So, I thought, ‘I think God wants me to write this atheist’s version of the Holy Bible because he is setting me up with nothing to do this summer except write the book.” Once infected, always infected.”

Also, I want to thank the creator of the movie “Julie and Julia,” which gave me impetus to blog my journey like Julie blogged her journey of making 500 of Julia Child’s recipes. At first, I was going to write the book and publish the traditional way, but then I got the idea to blog my progress and get new ideas from others. Also this would allow me to blog my learning.
The First Book of Moses, Called

GENESIS

  1. In the beginning God experimenteth with powerful forces that madeth a giant explosion, causing the heavens to be formed.
  2. And near one of the stars formed was a planet.
  3. And God said, I shall call this planet Earth.
  4. And God saweth the light from the sun as it shined upon Earth and He said it was good.
  5. And God called the light time Day and the dark time he called Night. This was the first stage of His creation.
  6. And God looked up from earth and marveled at the blue sky.*
  7. And God saw the how the sun reflected off the ocean and the sky in the horizon turned orange as the sun set and he said this is good!
  8. And God called the sky the heavens and that was the second stage of his creation. * I learned that the firmament of verses 6 and 7 is the sky, not the land:”The Sumerian god An (and his later Akkadian and Babylonian counterpart “Anu”) was the deity of the firmament-like “heavens” in Mesopotamian cosmology. Mesopotamian mythology envisioned the universe as a flat earth covered by a dome, with primordial seas above the firmament and below dry land.” (Wikipedia)
  9. And God said, let the waters under the heavens be gathered together unto one place, and let dry land appear: And so it was.
  10. And Good called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good.
  11. And God said, Let the earth bring forth all vegetation, including grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after its kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.
  12. And the earth brought forth all vegetation, including grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after its kind: and God saw that it was good.
  13. And this was the third stage of His creation.
  14. And God stood on Earth and gazed at the stars that twinkleth in the heavens and He said it was good.  The stars could be used for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years.
  15. And God said, The stars and moon can be used to light up Earth at night. This is good.
  16. And God said, so we haveth lights for both the day and the night. This is very good.
  17. And God said, I am glad I putteth those lights in the heavens.
  18. And God said, Just to be crystal clear, I think the sun will be the light for the day and the moon will be the light for the night.
  19. This finished His fourth stage of creation.
  20. And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open sky of the heavens.
  21. And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters have brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
  22. And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.
  23. And that was the fifth stage of creation.
  24. And  God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and so it was so.
  25. Not to belaboreth the point, but God made the beast of the earth after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
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